


Little Miss Swordsman

by CandyFlossRainClouds



Category: One Piece
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Boys in Skirts, But he gets over it because the pay is super good, Crossdressing, Don't Judge Me, F/F, F/M, I Don't Even Know, I'm a filthy sinner, M/M, Modern AU, One-Sided Attraction, Sanji's gonna think he's a girl cause he looks damn good in a dress, Self-Indulgent, The D brothers have no shame, Why did I choose Zoro for this you may ask, Zoro has shame at first
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-23
Updated: 2016-07-25
Packaged: 2018-07-26 03:55:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7559149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CandyFlossRainClouds/pseuds/CandyFlossRainClouds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After being kicked out of their shared apartment by his ex girlfriend, Zoro is in need of some fast cash. Cue Luffy, Ace, a suspicious amount of quick money, Emporio Ivankov, and... A Gothic Lolita dress?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Poor Zoro

"And stay out, you free loading punk!"

And with that, Roronoa Zoro, college student and soon to be master swordsman, was thrown out on his ass. He laid on the sidewalk in front of the garbage dump of an apartment complex as Nami, his now former landlord, one of his best friends, and on-off girlfriend stood glaring at him with eyes bright enough to make the devil piss his red tights. She then reached back and threw out two hastily packed duffle bags, laughing as one of them hit him while he tried to sit up.

"I'm going, I'm going! Crazy bitch...But don't complain when I don't come back!" The gruff man grunted as he stood and grabbed the bags. If you really wanna know why he was getting his ass thrown onto the street, literally, it took some explaining.

See, the main reason that he was constantly breaking it off with Nami was because Zoro was in a very compromising situation, ie wrestling with his sexuality and the idea that he might like dick a little more than he was previously comfortable. Every time he looked at a reasonably attractive male specimen, he always felt incredibly guilty. I mean, he had Nami, who was quite the shapely lady herself. (He was quite the envy of his campus, Nami was a goddess among queens.) Zoro was not the type of man to squander something like that. Nami was his friend, a dear, close friend, who deserved someone who appreciated just how superb she was. That man just happened to not to be Zoro.

Unfortunately, the lovely auburnette didn't seem to agree with his noble reasons, hence our hero being kicked out on his aforementioned ass. The poor modern day samurai was stuck weighing his options at the local bus stop. He looked for all the world like a vagrant, what with his choppy stubble, thrown on plaid shirt and generally slovenly appearance. It was kinda hot, but that didn't stop all the obviously new moms from tugging their brats away, muttering about "how this city was going down hill" and "someone should really do something about that man."

He allowed himself to scoff at the idle gossip, it was really the only enjoyment he could allow himself right now. As he pulled out his phone, he winced at the wallpaper of the selfie they took together on their last date, he knew he shouldn't let her pick his background. As he began to text Luffy to convince Ace to pick him up, he began to slowly drift into the anger phase of most breakups.

All he'd said was that they weren't going to work anymore because he was gay! If he was a lesser man, he could've just broke it off and not have told her why. It wasn't like she couldn't do better! She was just being a bitch to be a bitch!

As soon as the thought crossed his mind, his unrighteous anger fizzled out. He knew for a fact she was acting out because she was hurt, and she had every right to be. The man sighed, wallowing in his chagrin, and shut off his phone leaning back on the uncomfortable plastic bench to wait for his ride to appear.

He had very nearly fallen asleep when Ace pulled up in his raggedy beat up red Thunderbird (which the brothers lovingly dubbed "Shanks" after their crazy but very loving adopted dad.) and honked the horn obnoxiously, waking Zoro up from a blissful almost nap and disturbing the soccer moms and business men.

"Yo!" The older man called from the open window they both knew didn't roll up properly. As Zoro stood up and gathered his things, he reminded himself how stupid he was to be letting a narcoleptic man drive him to his home and how he shouldn't have let Luffy accompany him to his driving test, thus securing the fact that he wouldn't be getting a license from that school anytime soon. As he threw his bags into the back seat of the beautiful beaten up car, he began pondering Ace's appearance, seeing as he was newly single and now openly gay man:

He had to admit, now that he was looking, Ace was a very beautiful man. He had a nice muscled body, but a really kind and open face, with cute freckles and incredibly soft looking black locks. He wouldn't mind if Ace wanted to- Whoa, those were bad thoughts. Shaking those thoughts out of his head, he clambered into the front seat, grunting as he settled down into the leather upholstered seat.

"Your old lady getting you down?" Ace practically snickered out, wiggling in his seat and starting up the car before Zoro even put his seatbelt on.

"Yeah, for the last time. she kicked my ass out."

"Damn bro, I never thought she'd really do it." He laughed before cursing under his breath. "Now I owe Pops 20 bucks and a punch." Zoro winced in sympathy at the thought of having to take a punch from the great Edward Newgate, reigning champion of bad jokes and ass whoopin'.

"Naw, I deserved it. I finally caved."

"Oh dude! So you like dick now? Join the club, man!" Ace laughed and slapped the other's boy's knee. "You just got me 50 bucks, man! Robin owes me!"

Zoro rolled his eyes. He knew for a fact Robin would get her money back someway. He didn't need to question how they knew, he chalked it up to built in gay-dar. He sometimes felt like he could sense it to, but maybe it was because his powers hadn't "fully awakened" so to speak.

The rest of the ride continued with similar banter until they came to the "D" Brothers' house, a place Zoro nearly lived in during his high school life. The very second they closed the car doors, the front door of the house practically exploded open, allowing a very familiar blur of red to barrel out like a cannonball.

"Sleepover!" The shorts clad young man screeched as he tackled Zoro against the car. Zoro winced as the constant pain in his back tripled in intensity. He didn't need to open his eyes to see the shit eating grin on Ace's face. He and the older man each grabbed a bag and trudged inside, Luffy bouncing behind them into the house.

The sigh of relief was felt rather than heard as Zoro collapsed onto the couch. It was worlds more comfortable than that bench, but after years of having getting chewed out by Nami and spending lonely nights on their nightmarish uncomfortable couch, his bone structure had practically adapted to sleeping on hard surfaces, so it was awkward laying on something comfortable.

Luffy, clad in an over sized red cardigan and shorts despite the autumn weather, dive bombed onto the couch next to him, grinning. "So whaddya wanna do?"

"Curl up in a ball, sleep, and rethink my life choices." He attempted to curl up when the pain became too intense.

"But Zoro!" The young man whined. "That's what you wanna do every time you come over!"

The mosshead blinked slowly and rolled to face the couch cushions.

"I need some quick money and a place to stay." If it were anyone else, they'd think Zoro was crazy to the "D" brothers of all people for money. But in their friend group, it was well known that Luffy liked to disappear every other weekend, only to turn up again with a huge wad of cash. Honestly they were too scared to speculate, all except for Robin, whose knowing smile was scarier than the idea Luffy whoring himself out.

It then became a running joke as the weekends piled up, Luffy being a prostitute on the side. They borrowed money without guilt, that Luffy would ask for nothing other than food in return. So, Luffy didn't react to the request other than to tap his chin.

"How much to do you need?" He pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his over around him, smiling inquisitively.

"Enough to get an apartment, pay rent, and feed myself."

Ace, who was parking the car and only heard the final bits of the conversation, walked in and leaned against the back of the couch,tapping Luffy's shoulder and raising an eyebrow.

"So, uh...You need a job?" The grin was palpable in his tone, and it was suspicious enough to make Zoro look up.

"Yeeeeeeeeeah?"

They had matching grins on their face as they scooted closer, Zoro pressing himself against the back of the couch. This was a bad idea, what the fuck was he doing, this could be very bad, he was fucking up right now, abort the damn mission you dumbass-

"We could get you a job?" They practically hissed in unison, their hands curling in his clothes.

What in the name of all things holy was he getting himself into? Zoro was not a man who scared easily. After a rough upbringing, various near-death experiences, having nearly every weapon conceivable pointed at him at one point or another, and nearly dying breaking into (and subsequently out of) prison, Zoro's balls were made of pure titanium at this point in his life. However, he had to actively hold down a whimper at the almost demonic glint in the brothers' eyes.

"We can help you out, Zoro. You wanna know how I make my money, riiiiight?" Luffy giggled, bouncing in place slightly. Ace on the other hand, had bounded off the couch and was now pacing back and forth with a massive grin mumbling about 'bonuses' and 'raking it in.'

The very small and almost unused self preservation part of Zoro's nearly exploded as he managed to grumble out, "Alright, alright, stop being so cryptic and just tell what the fuck i need to do."

Clearly, he was supremely fucking up right now. However, there were many things that Roronoa Zoro was not; one of them is intelligent and another, a freeloader. He would earn his keep, even if he had to do some downright embarrassing things. It wouldn't be the first time he'd have to swallow his pride and it certainly would not be the last. He could handle it.

Luffy folded his hands in his lap as he curled his legs beneath himself, still squirming from side to side and still wearing an unsettlingly wide grin.

"Zoro, do you remember that time Ace got thrown in jail?"

Of course he remembered that shitstorm. Ace had gotten caught on some sort of charge with his friends, Whitebeard's group of weirdos who all call him Pops. They'd thrown him into Impel Down, the city prison known around the country for straight up abusing it's prisoners. Luffy had blown a gasket and nearly killed himself attempting to break in, before the rest of them stepped in and helped.

It'd resulted in an all out war between the city's gangs and the police that almost killed Whitebeard and Ace before Shanks himself stepped in and ended the whole thing. Since then, almost all the gangs had disbanded. They still hung out together, though most criminal activity is now kept to a minimum.

All that being said, of course Zoro remembered and told Luffy as such.

"Great! Then you remember Iva-guy, right?"

At the confused glance the mint haired man threw him, Ace elucidated.

"Emporio Ivankov."

Ahhh, now he remembered. The city police, in addition to be a corrupt cesspool of liars and rich crooks, were also outrageously trans-phobic. They'd been imprisoning trans people left and right and closing down medical practices that performed sex changes. This spawned a group of underground doctors willing to perform the surgeries covertly, calling themselves "The Kamabakka Queendom", headed by Emporio Ivankov, who himself was a female-to-male transexual and leading physician on the subject.

Ivankov had run his Queendom with an iron fist wrapped in a velvet glove, and all of his subjects loved him, even when he himself was imprisoned. Luffy, being Luffy, had made good friends with the "New Kamas" as they called themselves. So much so, in fact, that Ivankov himself had agreed to help him break Ace out.

The three of them had maintained a healthy friendship, it seemed.

"What does he have to do with me being broke?" He wasn't really sure he wanted to know, to be honest.

"Well, ever since Shanks set the police straight so-to-speak, people don't really need to sneak around anymore. So, Iva's been able to make himself into a very rich man with his own medical practices and what not." Ace began, grin not leaving his face as Zoro nodded for him to move on.

Luffy picked up the explanation from his brother's pause. "So! With all the extra money and profits, Iva-Guy's been able to open a business on the side. A caberet lounge! Thing is, they're pretty short on hands," Here, Luffy held up his hands to emphasis his point. "Me and Ace've been working there for a while now! That's where we've been getting our money!"

So now it all made sense! Zoro breathed an inward sigh of relief. He wouldn't have really cared if Luffy was really whoring himself out, he wasn't one to judge. But he couldn't say he liked imagining his obviously asexual best friend having sex with faceless men for money. Luffy was very emotional after all, and that kind of job required a fair amount of emotional detachment.

"Sooo, what? Does the guy need a bartender or what?"

The brothers erupted into laughter, managing to spurt out a negative to his query.

Now, Zoro was getting pissed. These two little shits were practically dangling a dollar bill in front of his face and ripping it away whenever he reached for it. Seething, Zoro growled out through his grit teeth.

"If you punks don't hurry up and tell me, i swear to god-"

"Ok ok, Seaweed!" Luffy laughed softly, waving his hands in an attempt to calm Zoro.

"Alright, so...thing is, they don't need bartenders, they need performers! And it's a...Drag cabaret lounge."

Zoro stood and cursed, stomping back and forth.

"I knew it! I fucking knew it! I knew it was be some shit like that. If you think i'm gonna wear a goddamn dress, Luffy-"

"But Zoro, it's not that bad! It's actually really fun!"

"Wearing a dress, Luffy!? How is that fun!?"

Luffy hopped up and clapped his hands. "No, it is, Zoro! You just don't even have to sing, just lip sync! And people cheer you on and whistle at you and talk about how pretty you are! It's the best!"

Despite Luffy's obvious enthusiasm, Zoro could not for the life of him see how having people ogle him for cash was fun. As he opened his mouth to spout another round of expletives, his mind flashed to the wad of cash Luffy would always show off. It was always gigantic and made of all 10s and 20s.

"How much does it pay?"

"20 bucks per hour, pay day is every two weeks," began Luffy.

"And tips can be up to $350 which you get to keep all to yourself." Ace finished, knowing that this would be what won the swordsman over.

Good god,that was a ton of money. But would he really give up his pride for money? Was it really worth it?

"I'll do it."

Hell yes it was.


	2. Enter Ivankov

The first half of the next day was spent just moving Zoro's stuff in. It was decided that until Zoro was able to afford his own place, he would stay in the guest bedroom. Even though the brothers insisted that he stay in Shanks' old room, just the thought sleeping in the room of "Red Haired" Shanks was very intimidating. So, while the two boys whined and cajoled, he ended up dragging and unpacking his stuff on his own.

When he'd finished the tedious task, he collapsed on to the bed with a mighty groan. Moving onto his stomach, he pulled his phone out of his pocket, wincing as he saw he had 12 missed calls and voicemails from Nami. She would kill him the next time he saw her, which, considering they were still close friends, would be much sooner than he could handle.

Moving onto his back, he frowned as he allowed the voicemails to play through. They started off angry (rightfully so) but slowly just got sadder as they went on. He felt like utter shit, making her feel like this.

Just as he finished the last message, Luffy burst into the room, launching onto the bed with a bounce.

"Zoro, come on! It's time to go!"

"Luffy, what the fuck? It's only 5 pm!" He growled as he was tugged off the bed and down the hall. He was too tired from unpacking all of his things on his own, so he was forced to go along with it as he was dragged out of the house and into the car, wincing as he was thrown headfirst into the backseat. Luffy had bounced his way into the passenger seat while Ace seemed to have been waiting for them in the driver's seat.

Ace, the douchebag, immediately pulled off, knowing that he hadn't even had a chance to sit up, let alone put on his seatbelt. Not even in the mood for all the bullshit that came with his situation in the slightest, Zoro allowed himself to clock out, not even giving half a mind to the fact that he was sleeping on the floor of a moving car.

He was rudely awakened what felt like seconds later to the car door opening and Luffy tugging at his feet in an attempt to drag him out. Kicking his friend's hands away, he clambered out himself. He found himself immediately blinded with light, despite it being late afternoon. The Kamabakka Queendom bar was practically luminescent, the sign outshining the sun with it's bright pink lights displaying it's name to the street proudly.

Ace walked around the parked car and threw an arm around Zoro's shoulders, pulling him onto the sidewalk. "Luffy and me will be working in a couple hours, so we're not gonna be able to help you out with your image."

"Image?" Zoro grunted, furrowing his brows as Luffy grabbed his arm. The D brothers manhandled the poor samurai into the bar, not paying any mind to Zoro's renewed struggling.

The inside of the bar was not as bad as the mosshead expected, though. It was a spacious room, booths lining the walls closest to the door and round tables placed around the room. The bar was a straight shot from the door, with stools placed in front of it's wraparound counter. Every chair in the building (stools included) looked overstuffed and too comfy. There were lights everywhere in nearly color imaginable. Lamps were hung from the ceiling, strings of lights were strung up on walls, there was an electric candle set on every table.

The whole place felt was warm and inviting, much more than a drag caberet bar had any right to be. Luffy let go of the bewildered samurai and lept over the bar, banging on the counter. "Iva-guy! Hey! We're heeere! And we brought Zoro!" The young man's screaming was answered with the door behind the bar swinging open and a very flamboyant man in an incredibly tight purple bodysuit sashayed through, his heels clicking rhythmically on the floor.

"Luffy~! Ace~! Glad to see you back for another day in my little heaven! I see you brought your delicious friend~!" Zoro could swear that the man's head was too large for his body, but it was hard to tell with the mass of indigo ringlets that sat atop his cranium. Either way, Zoro felt incredibly uncomfortable, especially as the man, who he now recognized to be Ivankov, trailed his eyes up and down his body.

"Hmm, yes yes, you'll do. Roronoa Zoro!" Zoro will never admit that he jumped when Ivankov suddenly exclaimed and pointed at him. "Do you have any experience in performance?"

"No." The mosshead replied flatly.

The purple man nodded, rubbing his chin with his hand. "Yes, well that's rather obvious."

"Then why'd you ask me!?" Zoro screamed, already completely regretting every decision that brought him to this point in time.

His question was waved off (He should've expected that) as Ivankov walked close and placed both hands on Zoro's shoulders, staring him down with intimidatingly large eyes ringed with cat eye eyeliner. "Now, this is a very big question I'm going to ask you, Roronoa. One that will very much effect your experience here."

Zoro was sweating slightly beneath the man's probing gaze, but he nodded.

"Who is the most unique woman in your life?"

That is not what Zoro expected. The man moved away with a pat to the young man shoulder before twirling on his heel and strutting over to Luffy and Ace who were attempting (and failing) to mix drinks so that the liquid would turn blue.

"What does that have do with working here!?" Zoro screamed again, not expecting an answer.

"Your job here will be performing as the opposite gender. You need a point of reference as to how to act. Pick a woman who inspires you and model your performance after her. The closer she is to you, the easier it will be to 'become' your character." Ivankov immediately replied while calmly prying the D brothers away from the alcohol. "You'll have to call them so that they can help you with your look."

Fuck, that made a lot of sense. But, Zoro was still coming to terms with the fact that he had to wear a dress, let alone the fact that he had to be good at it. He was gonna have to find a woman who he could tolerate seeing him...like this. He sat down in one of the overly comfy booths, leaning his elbows on the table. This was something he would have to think over. There weren't very many women in his life, and most of the ones that he could think of were out of the question.

He pulled out his cellphone and flipped it to his contacts. Nami was out of the question for obvious reasons, there was no way that he could ever dream to emulate Robin's elegant mysteriousness. As he scrolled through his phone, he finally found the one woman who he knew wouldn't tell anyone about, even if she would never let him live it down.

He had to admit, he was getting good at swallowing his pride. He only hesitated once as he called her number, putting the phone to his ear. It was picked up after 2 rings.

"Ech, what do you want?"

"I'm not doing this because I want to! Look, I need your help, Perona."


	3. Perona's such a good person

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why do you people encourage my twisted fantasies? Why do I love to torture Zoro?

She had laughed; of course she had, Zoro would have as well, if he wasn't the one in this situation. But he was, goddammit, and so while he understood, that didn't stop him from  
being absolutely pissed as he listened to her cackling. 

"Ha ha, yeah, laugh it up! Are you gonna help me or not?" The marimo grumbled, his hand tightening dangerously on his cell. The obvious anger in his tone wasn't enough to stop her relentless teasing (both at his situation and the fact that he would ask her of all people for help.) but Perona agreed to help.

"I'll be done there in 10 minutes...Ms. Roronoa!" She howled with laughter before abruptly ending the call and leaving Zoro feeling like he needed to throw up. He laid his head on the cool wood of the table, hoping to quell the headache that was slowly pounding its way through his skull. The noises in that background that he'd been ignoring on his call with the pink she-devil slowly filtered into his hazy awareness; Ivankov was asking Luffy if he had memorized his routine. Of course, Luffy's answer was a resounding "Nope!" followed by his trademark laugh.

Ivankov's freak out in reply became incomprehensible as Zoro slowly fell asleep. God, these last two days have been the most exhausting times he's ever had. The marimo had just been on the end of too many emotional ass kickings. Before he met Luffy, he'd been suffering all kinds of stress related ailments: back pains, headaches, stomachaches, etc. Usually, being with his friends was enough to make them less intense. Even his relationship with Nami, as hectic as it was, had been a source of comfort. But now, he could feel everything come back full force. He just wanted to sleep it all away.

He was jolted awake (and out of his seat) by the front door of the lounge being kicked open. Since his face was getting intimate with the hard wood floor, he felt the familiar vibrations of her platform shoes before she even spoke. He didn't even flinch as the aforementioned platform shoe was pressed against his back.

"Ugh, of course I find you laying around on the floor in one of the trendiest bars in town." Perona scoffed, gently shoving him onto his back with her foot. Zoro glared up at her, his eyes squinting from the intensity of the overhead lights. He had never, in the unfortunately long time that he'd known Perona, gave a single solitary fuck about what Perona wore. However, as the realization that he would have to emulate her as closely as possible hit him like a punch to the gut, he realized just hard he was currently fucking himself over.

His eyes traveled from her ankle-breaking black platform shoes, to the black and white striped stockings, to the multilayered mess of white frills, bows, and lace that the Perona covered herself in on a daily basis with increasing horror. As if reading Zoro's mind, Perona smirked and flipped her pink curls over her shoulder.

"You're so lucky that I'm such a good person. I even brought some of my very own outfits! You should be on your knees thanking me!" 

Sure enough, behind Perona sat at least 12 gaudy pink suitcases, looking more she was moving in rather than helping out a friend.Before Zoro could croak out his scathing reply, Ivankov materialized out of nowhere in his usual fashion, introducing himself with a dramatic flourish. Zoro had to roll out of the way to avoid being stepped on by Ivankov's deadly stiletto heels., Zoro stumbled to his feet as the drama king and queen got to know each other and attempted to leave the situation altogether to hopefully find solace in the restroom, only to stop when a perfectly manicured hand grabbed his shoulder.

"Why don’t you go check on the boys? Just head on through the door behind the bar, you should find them in the dressing rooms." Ivankov hissed into his ear, his tone filled with the promise of punishment if Zoro disappeared or attempted to get out of his. Resisting the urge to gulp nervously, the marimo did as he was told and hopped the bar counter, ignoring the slight tremble in his hand as he opened the door. As he stumbled into the back room, he was struck by the sight.

Since the bar was tucked in between two other buildings and in the center of downtown, Zoro figured that the building couldn't be all that big, but the room he was standing in was the size of a warehouse. Racks and racks of clothing hung everywhere, strung up like meat in a butcher's freezer, a rainbow of gaudy designs, sequins, and fishnet. As the swordsman tread forward cautiously, he realized that there was a very real possibility that his awful sense of direction could kill him in this place, forcing him to forever wander in this sparkly hell. He stepped backward, preparing to make a run in the other direction, but the excited voices of Perona and Ivankov conversing in the main bar stopped him. The marimo weighed his options, but no matter which route he took, he'd be subjected to some kind of torture. Taking a deep breath, he took his chances with the lesser evil that was the Sequined Hell. As he took another step forward and tried not to let the trepidation show on his face, he was saved by arms wrapping around his shoulders in a hug.

"What took you so long, Zoro?" It was the only time in two days that he'd been happy to hear Luffy's voice. Letting out a sigh of relief disguised as a groan, he pulled out of the hug, ready to give Luffy a piece of his mind for putting him through this, only to be shocked silent yet again. (Really, he doesn't know why he even bothers speaking anymore.). The…woman in front of him could barely be recognized as his best friend.

But, noticing his shocked silence, the woman laughed in an all too familiar way, folding her arms across her stomach as she doubled over from the weight of her own amusement. "You should see your face, it's so funny!" 

"Luffy, what the fuck?!" The mint haired man finally yelled, his indignation at being laughed at outweighing the paralyzingly surprise. With a face splitting grin, Luffy rocked back and forth, the silky material of his short red dress brushing against his thighs with a soft rustle. 

"Like it? Iva-guy says we're having a special show tonight, so we have to dress even fancier than usual. Ace is still getting his makeup on, but all I need is to do is put on lipstick." With nearly every word, Luffy was moving, the soft 'clack' of his high heeled sandals echoing in the large room and the extensions in his hair brushing at his elbows. The gold bangles on his arm jangled annoyingly along his giant gold hoop earrings, and looking closer, Zoro could see the intricate gold design of a dragon running up the loose skirt all the way to the top of the fitted bodice before wrapping around the low back of the dress. 

It wasn't too gaudy, and if it wasn't his best friend, if it wasn't Luffy, he could say with confidence that it looked…dare he say it, sexy.

Luffy continued to ramble on as he pulled on Zoro's arm and cut a path through the clothing racks to the very back of the room, where bright vanities lined the walls. Ace, half asleep, was sitting on a stool while a woman turned his head this way and that, applying cakes of makeup. Immediately noticing the two of them, the woman shrieked at Luffy, squeezing Ace's cheeks to stop him from falling forward in his chair and smudging his makeup.

"You! Sit yer ass down, I need to fix your eye shadow! And you already smudged your lipstick, you dumb ass. Sit down, goddammit!" 

The black haired boy was too busy attempting to simultaneously show Zoro around and steal more candy out of the complimentary candy bowl on one of the vanities. The woman looked conflicted as she glanced from Ace to Luffy, before groaning and continuing with Ace's makeup. Zoro, god fucking forbid, felt sorry for the poor girl, having to deal with keeping the D brothers in check and in addition to making them look presentable for once. Already anticipating the headache, Zoro broke out of Luffy's hold and moved to the woman's side, holding up Ace. The two of them met eyes and there was a moment of kinship, the kind of bond only two people who have dealt with Ace and Luffy for entirely too long and were both angry that they'd chose to do so and yet oddly happy because of it could share before the woman bolted after Luffy, who'd taken the food bowl and ran. 

Zoro looked down at Ace's half-painted face. Even unfinished as it was, he was already looking downright gorgeous, his freckles popping out vibrantly and his lips a delicate pink. It was almost scary, how drastic the transformation was. Could they really work that kind of magic on him? 

It didn't take long for the woman (who introduced herself as Beretta when the ordeal was over)to wrangle up Luffy and readjust his makeup, so she graciously allowed Zoro to nap on the plush couch nearby the vanities while promising to keep the brothers as quiet as she could. Assuring her that he had more than enough experience sleeping through bullshit, he took his place on the couch and took a well deserved nap. He fell asleep the second his head touched the cushion.


End file.
